GH

So after the dreadful date, Eli became known as Groundhog Boy among my friends. I heard from him once, the day after the walk, and he said, essentially, that he had fun on the walk but that he was just starting to see another gal (his word, if you can believe it) and figured that if we ever did anything together it would just be as friends. Now, what you need to know is that this e-mail was really, really long. What he could have said in two sentences he said in at least 20. Oh, did I mention that he said I was "easy to talk to"? How ridiculous is that? He didn't let me get a word in edgewise. The only good thing was that he said he didn't need the groundhog back, in case if it had gotten lost or damaged the night before. Phew, at least now I was off the hook and didn't have to worry about seeing him again.

My friend had the groundhog for a week, but I did get it back. What to do with it? I can't very well leave it sitting on my couch, just staring at me, now can I? I have decided to take it to work. I do work at an elementary school, after all; surely someone there could enjoy it. Besides, I told one of my work friends about it and she's dying to see this creature. Perhaps she'll know what to do with it.

Oh yeah, it was bad—really bad

No more dates with Eli ever again, no matter what definition of 'date' you want to use. He was awkward, exceedingly dorky, and he talked THE ENTIRE TIME. Sure, some might say that just means he's nervous, but really, I couldn't get him to stop talking. So, to the recap you've been waiting for:

We met at a central, public location. When I got off the bus, I could see him standing there waiting. He gets a point for this, though; I do appreciate promptness. He lost a few points though because, unlike a normal guy, he wasn't carrying a messenger bag or backpack, but a small duffel bag. Who carries a little duffel bag around, let alone on a date?

We began walking up to the staircases we wanted to explore and easily started up a conversation. Or at least I though it was a conversation. I quickly realized, however, that it was a monologue. Imagine, if you will, a play in which the protagonist is on stage, spouting off about himself at a younger age (or some other topic that is really only interesting to him), when a servant/page/friend comes on stage to try and tell him something; he listens momentarily, but continues talking before the other person can finish speaking. Now, multiply this scenario by 20, add at least 10 steep staircases and many hills, a lot of rain, and then you will understand what this date was like.

I did try to interject my own thoughts/responses/opinions/etc. at first, but I finally just gave up and asked him questions, letting him respond for as long as he wanted. At one point, we were quite close to a favorite bakery/café of mine and I said something like, "Oh, look, That Bakery is right down there. I love that place! (Hint, hint, want to go and get out of the rain?" Unfortunately, he had other staircases he wanted to climb, so we kept on going. Of course I should have stopped, told him I wasn't having a good time, etc., but I didn't for some horrendously foolish reason and kept on going. Stupid me. Live and learn, right?

The only good part about this whole debacle was that we met at 2 and he had to go his own way at 4. As we were saying goodbye (a very awkward one, by the way, as all I could think was, "oh please, get me out of here now"), he reminded me that he'd brought with him something for the Groundhog Day party I'd mentioned I was going to that night. It was a groundhog golf club head cover. As if the date hadn't already been ridiculous, this just made it even more so. I thanked him promised him that it would go to the party and then bid him a hasty farewell so as to get far away from him as quickly as possible.

When I got home I was tired, sore, sick (I wasn't feeling great in the morning, but I didn't want to cancel the date on the off chance he was actually a cool guy), and exceedingly wet. I actually stopped to buy a space heater on my home so I could begin to dry out my clothes and my boots. I went back out a few hours later to have dinner with a friend who was going to the party (I had decided that there was no way I was going to make it, especially with the storm outside) and hand off the groundhog. I figured if she had it, perhaps she'd lose it and I'd never have to see it or Eli ever again.

Now I'm home and trying to dry out and warm up. I think it's going to be a while before I ever feel warm again…

Here goes

I'm about to leave for my walking date with Eli. I see two potential problems:

1. It's raining. Not hard, but definitely raining and it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon.

2. I have put very little effort into preparing for this date. This doesn't bode well for you, Eli.

Perhaps this will turn out better than I expect, but I'm guessing there won't be much more to say about Eli after today.

I'm a local, you're a local

So this guy (I'll call him Eli) messaged me the other day whose match with me wasn't that great (according to the dating site); however, he asked a couple interesting questions and I decided I might as well respond (though I took my sweet time). Since then we've exchanged a couple of e-mails and I've learned that he's a native of this city, just like me, and has a penchant for taking long rambling walks around the city, just as I do. One of Eli's jobs is actually Walking-Tour Guide. Therefore, I've decided to put aside any reservations I have about him based on the low match percentage and consent to an "activity date" of sorts: go on one of the walks listed in a book about the stairway walks in our city. It's an area I've explored a little and one he actually doesn't know very well, so it seems that this has potential. I don't really feel any great attachment to the guy, so I'm just going to see if maybe I can make a new friend out of this.