The Bachelor

I should preface this post by saying that I've never watched "The Bachelor" or any of the other such programs that have tarnished the airwaves over the last decade.

The other day I came across a Newsweek article entitled "A Black President Before a Black 'Bachelor'?" It was the TV critic's review of the current season of ABC's "The Bachelor" and the critic, Joshua Alston, chose to focus on the glaring fact that the "bachelor" has been white in each of the show's 14 seasons. (Side note: 14 seasons? I had no idea, but that just seems like 13 too many.) Mr. Alston writes about how he realized it would be silly to call the producers to ask about this because he knows that Americans overwhelmingly marry within their own race. He goes on to say,

White people are the majority in this country and, therefore, the best audience to target from a ratings standpoint, and there's risk in alienating viewers who may have less enlightened views on interracial couples. Could they cast a black man? Sure. Would it be smart to? Probably not. The Bachelor is one of many pop-culture artifacts that highlight the uncomfortable gap between the way we'd like to think of racial integration and the way it actually is. Just as people of different races don't often date each other or worship together, we also don't read many of the same books, or like many of the same movies, or adore many of the same celebrities. Certainly not as much as we'd like to believe.

Read the article and, if you've not already read them, my two previous posts about race (here and here). Then, let me know what you think. I'm curious to know if you think that the online dating world reflects the larger, nationwide trends written about in the Newsweek piece or if it is more liberal or conservative.

The Drake Equation

If you aren't a devoted listener of This American Life, shame on you. It's amazing and everyone should listen to it. If you are, did you hear the most recent episode, "Somewhere Out There"? It's this year's Valentine's Day show and it has a number of stories about the trials and tribulations of love and relationships and pretty much skips out on the sort of lovey-dovey mushiness most V-Day shows typically air. Though the whole episode was great (as always), my favorite part was the story at the beginning of the program in which a man explains how he and his fellow physics grad students used math (specifically the Drake Equation) to determine the likelihood of finding the perfect mate. Please listen to it here and tell me what you think about their calculations and specifications.

Since I haven't put a silly end to my post in while, here's something from Craigslist that was too good to pass up. Today's oddity is brought you by the letter C:

CUPID…I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN MISINFORMED - 32

You see, I like girls. cute ones. sexy ones. Not GAY MEN, so stop shooting them with your bow & arrow and then sending them my way. Especially, when I'm in the shower at the gym…I mean the guy with the rainbow flag tattooed on his ass. His glances were not furtive, homeboy was STARING!

Why can't you shoot the barista at the coffee shop who always smiles at me? Why can't you aim at any of these cute girls currently reading this ad?

Let's try this again.

I want to ride my bicycle

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

I'm just totally and completely scared to ride on the streets of San Francisco. I learned to ride when I was little, but I only rode at the local middle school playground—which was FLAT and devoid of moving vehicles. Thanks to Ily, I've regained a little of my biking know-how, but I'm still afraid to ride on the city streets (even in my relatively quiet and flat neighborhood).

The thing is, in San Francisco, everyone my age seems comfortable on a bike. Lots of guys specifically mention on their online profiles (if not even in their usernames) that they like to ride their bikes and would be interested in going on bike rides around the city with a girl on a date. In theory, this sounds like a lot of fun; however, it's actually terrifying until I become comfortable on a bike. My romantic side hopes that I'll find someone who'll be willing to help me overcome my fear of bike-riding.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, but the other day the SF Chronicle actually ran a story about this called "Low-carbon dating: Biking gets hearts racing." Here's the lede:

Two-wheeled but single? Luckily there are hundreds of others like you with whom you already have something in common. Or perhaps you're already paired up and are seeking an active, outdoorsy way to spend Valentine's Day weekend. Well, pump up your heart and your tires, because the bicycle is a date-getting, date-going machine.

Someday…

P.S. I am going out with Henry tonight. I'll update tomorrow.

Public Eavesdropping

A local newspaper columnist runs a reader-submitted quote each day at the end of her column. The quote is something that has been overheard by the reader and is usually silly and/or inane. Today the entire column was dedicated to these quotes, all of which have to do with relationships. Here's the first part:


Part 1: The Valentine's Game

By Leah Garchik

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

And now, with Valentine's Day approaching, let us embark on the annual quote-by-quote tramp through the pastures of relationships.

First, the need must be recognized:

-- "Not being married is the source of her drinking? Then I should be face down in a ditch" (Woman at Pasta Pomodoro on 24th Street, overheard by Tom Perrault)

-- "But I do know what I don't want." (Woman to friend, overheard at Peet's on Fillmore Street by Ken Maley)

-- "All my girlfriends dumped me when I lost my house." (Man to man while cycling, overheard on Tunnel Road in Oakland by Celeste Demitrios)

-- "The only thing I arouse in a woman is suspicion." (Man to woman, overheard in Union Square in New York by Steve Held)

-- "I need to stop chasing the guys in sanitation." (Middle-aged woman to friend, overheard in Sonoma by Leslie McLean)

-- "Shopping is like dating in S.F. It looks good at first. Then you get it home and it doesn't go with anything you have." (Woman to woman, overheard in the audience at "Shopping! The Musical" by cast member Dan Meagher)

-- "That's why me and Roman Polanski have the same taste in women." (Man to friend, overheard outside Savanna Jazz in the Mission by R. Guensche)

-- "I just can't believe it. You must be the only guy in California with a 27-year-old girlfriend who's still a virgin." (Man to man, overheard at Peet's in Montclair by Jack Bannon).

Read the rest of the column here.

Alone Time

I turned on the radio a few minutes ago and was excited to find that the current program was "To the Best of Our Knowledge." After listening for a few minutes, I realized that the episode was about loneliness and being alone. This is a topic I've given a lot of thought in the last year or two as I've tried to find a partner with whom to share my life; however, the different segments discussed different elements of loneliness and it made me reflect on whether or not author John Cacioppo (Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection) would consider me "lonely." For all of my desires for a romantic relationship, I have lots of friends, confidants, acquaintances, family members, resources, etc. and all of those people give me so much that I couldn't possibly be really lonely.

To hear this interesting, thought-provoking program for yourself, click here.

As an example of a Craigslist guy who doesn't sound at all lonely:

A MIX OF CLINT, KEANU, AND BIG BIRD. - 20