Nearing the End

As I mentioned last time, I've run out of energy for online dating. It takes a lot to maintain my profile and wade through the multitudes on the site and, now that I have a job again, I don't really have as much time to do that. It's not that I don't have time to date or be in a relationship (like some people we know, *cough* Travis, *cough* Paul…), but I'd rather spend my free time out and about doing things and potentially meeting people than sitting at home in front of my computer for hours on the dating site.

Travis and I continue to e-mail. We went out last weekend for lunch and ultimately spent less than an hour together. I suggested trying to get together for dinner during the week, but he says that he's "not sure about weeknights, as I've really started to value just getting those few hours each night to sit around and decompress." While I totally understand the need to decompress, it's just one more sign that he clearly does not have the time for a relationship right now.

And then there's Paul, the Miata. I like him a lot. We hung out again on Friday, just as friends, and had a really nice time. There are so many things to like about him, but there are just enough things that I dislike that I know a relationship with him would never work, even if he was ready for one. All in all, I'm happy to have a great new friend. I need more of those.

This is my 197th post. I might try to stretch the blog out to 200, but there probably won't be much after that. If there's anything you think I should write about before I go on hiatus, please let me know. I'd love your suggestions!

Intelligence and Maturity

This week has taught me a valuable lesson: a person can be amazingly knowledgeable and intelligent without being all that mature. I'm sure some of you will disagree with me about my definition of mature, but I feel mine is pretty standard.

Here's the thing: Travis is very, very smart. Without telling you exactly who he is, I can say that he is a five-time national champion in his field, one that requires a lot of knowledge about a lot of different things. Those of you who know me, know that I like smart people and that I want a partner who (at least) matches me in intelligence. However, you also know that I'm someone who values the more 'cultured' aspects of life—fine art and music, excellent food, smart humor—and have little interest in low-brow, often mass-market entertainment. Call me a snob, I probably am, but that's just me. Travis definitely beats me in smarts, but it's these other qualities that don't match up. I feel like most of the things he does in his free time are about the same as those done by boys half his age.

Then there's another kind of maturity: maturity in relationships. I get the feeling that Travis hasn't dated much, much less been in many—if any—relationships. That's fine in theory, I certainly don't have that much experience, but with him it shows. There are few good things about this, namely his great frequency of communication, but I'm not sure I want to be the one to train him on the others. And yet, I'm not ready to tell him off just yet. If he decides we shouldn't see each other again, then I'll probably be OK with that; however, if he does want to see me again, then I'll be happy to see him.

Also, as much as it bothers me to admit this, I'm kind of done with the dating site for a while. Having been off it for about a month while I've been messaging and seeing Travis, I don't really have any great desire to get back on it at the moment. I've gone on dates with seven different people in three months and I'm kind of exhausted with the whole thing. The part that bothers me is that I do want to find someone, to be with someone, but perhaps I should just try what so many have before me and let things happen naturally.

Conveniently Close

As some of you know, I sing with a chorus. It's a fabulous group and we put a ton of work in each week to ensure that our performances are musical, moving, and fun. Rehearsal, however, leaves me exhausted—two and a half hours of intense concentration and singing will do that to a person—and the last thing I want to do upon leaving is begin my hour-long trek home on the bus.

How convenient then that Travis lives five blocks away from our rehearsal hall. As soon as I realized he lived that close, I immediately began dreaming about being able to go to his place and spend the night there. Using my desire to bring him some homemade brownies as an excuse, I asked if I could go over after his rehearsal. I was a bit afraid he'd refuse—I mean, we've only been on one date—but he said yes! Knowing that I'd be able to go to Travis', made the last hour of rehearsal so much easier.

Ultimately, Travis and I are responsible adults, which is my way of saying that I only stayed an hour and then headed back out. He has a lengthy commute every morning and had an early meeting this morning to boot; we both knew that if I stayed, our chance of getting much sleep was pretty small. Plus, he lives in a studio apartment with no couch. I told him that if he had a couch, I could just stay there; he told me that having me in his apartment at all would ensure that he didn't get any sleep. Well then. So we cuddled and kissed, but managed to separate long enough to get me out the door. A few minutes after I left, he texted me and told me that seeing me out was really hard to do. I wrote back to remind him that he'll get to see me again soon enough and that he could sleep in as long as he wants on Saturday—he's coming over to my place on Friday night, ostensibly for a cooking lesson and Scrabble, though I'm sure that won't be all…

Three Weeks of Preamble = Excellent First Date

This is going to be a bit of a tease, since I don't have time to write much, but:

- Theo's disappeared. I never heard from him after our second date. Also, I think he blocked my e-mail.
- Paul's still around, but we haven't seen much of each other and, because he's been in finals mode at school for the last few weeks, we haven't chatted much either.
- Jesse? Who knows what happened to him. Then again, I don't care.
- Travis. He messaged me and we messaged, IMed, and texted for a few weeks before we finally went out on Friday. Fantastic. I can't wait to see him again. I'll write more, as soon as we've worked out the second date.

Since Travis came along, I've pretty much been off of the dating site. It's been at least a week since I logged in. I continue to receive messages, but I've not responded to any of them. I rather like this situation.

Oh, and for those of you who liked my car metaphors, I have no idea what Travis is and that's just fine for now.