Dating to Learn

When I started this blog, I was learning to date. Two years later, I know how to date. I know what makes a good first date and what doesn't, what to wear (I have a signature green hat that has become my "I'll be the one in the green hat" identifier), what to talk about and what to leave for future dates (if there are any), and how to get out of a date I'm not enjoying.

Now, instead of learning how to date, I'm paying more attention to what my dates have to teach me. Of all the guys I've met in person and the many more I've only encountered online, I've learned all sorts of things. One of the main things I've learned is how to appreciate something even if I don't enjoy it myself. Sandy, for example, explained to me why he enjoys riding motorcycles. I have no interest in motorcycles, but, thanks to him, I can see why they appeal to so many people. Carl and Paul have discussed their fondness for video games, Carl for developing them, Paul for playing them. Just because I don't understand the appeal of trying to become a Level 65 mage doesn't mean others can't have a great time doing so. Dan tried his hardest to get me to like roller coasters. Sorry, Dan, they're not for me. I'm simply not an adrenaline junkie. However, I can appreciate how much goes into making a good roller coaster and why so many people enjoy them.

Others have introduced me to things I might, or might not, have found on my own. Aiden pointed me to the beautiful soundtrack of "Atonement." Theo introduced me to Bruckner. Henry taught me the game Flux—how had I never played it before?—and retaught me gin rummy; I proceeded to beg him to play both games with me for months after. And even though Gavin couldn't for the life of him give me any reason to enjoy his stories about military training, he did take me to a great neighborhood restaurant.

A full, updated blog post will be up soon, but it's been a long week what with starting my new job(!) and I just haven't had the energy to write. What have your dates taught you?

Just friends

After responding to his last message on Friday, I finally heard back from Richard today. He said that he's only just getting back into the dating scene and didn't really feel a romantic connection between us; he did, however, feel really comfortable with me and hopes he made a new friend. I think I've been single for such a long time that I was wanting things to work out with Richard (relationship-wise) so badly that I overlooked the fact that we will probably make great friends, because I actually feel the same way as he does. It just took reading his message to make me figure this out. I'm surprisingly happy with this, as hard as that may be for some of you to believe. He proposed meeting up again soon—especially if it involves board games (yay!)—so we'll likely see each other again this week.

And now, for today's, um, interesting, profile: "Intellectual-Adventurer seeking a Muse. Think Indiana Jones meets Ender Wiggin, looking for someone like Reese Witherspoon or perhaps Amelie. I am confident and outgoing. I seek adventures, particularly tests of the mind, body and will—the impossible ski run, the glacier-clad mountain, the unsolved theoretical problem. Even if I fail, I wil have learned something—and I don't take stupid risks. Yet, I also have a softer side. I'm not afraid of being creatively affectionate…"

Recap

The date the other night went really well. I met Richard at a nifty Ethiopian bar across the street from the concert hall and we hung out there for a couple of hours. We spent a little bit of time talking to his friend and her date, but mostly the two of us just talked about all sorts of things. Interesting things, I should add (given that most of my dates this year have been rather lacking in the interesting conversation department).

The concert was also fun. It was a crazy British band that plays J-pop-esque music. It wasn't something I ever would have found on my own, but I'd definitely listen to them again. We went back to the bar after the show and talked for another hour before I begged my leave. Given that I had to be up for work in six hours, I had to tear myself away. Richard walked me a ways to my bus stop, but as soon as I got to the stop I had to hop right on a bus, which led to a bit of an awkward goodbye. That said, it spared me from what might have been an even more awkward, first-date goodbye.

The best part of this whole saga is that I think we're going to see each other again. I sent him a message the day after to apologize for running away, tell him I had a really good time, and give him a link to some music we'd discussed. After waiting on tenterhooks for a day and a half, I heard back from him. He told me he'd burned me a copy of the album by the band we'd seen but had forgotten it at his friend's house and that he'd like to give it to me. So now the stage is set for a second date. Hmmm… Sunday?

Date!

Originally, this post was going to be called "Disappointment" and I was going to write about how every time I see a profile of a guy that seems really cool I freak out and decide not to e-mail him for fear that I'll never hear back. There are a couple of guys on the site who seem awesome, but I've not messaged them for this exact reason.

However, right as I started to title this post, I was IMed by one of these very guys (I'll call him Richard). Hurrah! We ended up chatting for a couple of hours and, towards the end, he asked me out—for a concert tomorrow! Yay! I'm really looking forward to this. I know next to nothing about the band, but it should be an adventure at the very least. Wish me luck!

Oh, and because I can't leave without giving you something bizarre: I'm expanded within my own finding that only being so trully compacted within myself. I dream lucidly in search of more why's and how's. A technicolor daydreamer of sorts. I am THE audiophile. My heart beats because music allows it to. I enjoy the world in depth. I am a lover and not a fighter. A good portion of my time is spent in search of truth and a better definition of subjective reality. I'm extremely passionate when inspired and completely destructive when not… (from the profile of AcidEtched)