Dating to Learn

When I started this blog, I was learning to date. Two years later, I know how to date. I know what makes a good first date and what doesn't, what to wear (I have a signature green hat that has become my "I'll be the one in the green hat" identifier), what to talk about and what to leave for future dates (if there are any), and how to get out of a date I'm not enjoying.

Now, instead of learning how to date, I'm paying more attention to what my dates have to teach me. Of all the guys I've met in person and the many more I've only encountered online, I've learned all sorts of things. One of the main things I've learned is how to appreciate something even if I don't enjoy it myself. Sandy, for example, explained to me why he enjoys riding motorcycles. I have no interest in motorcycles, but, thanks to him, I can see why they appeal to so many people. Carl and Paul have discussed their fondness for video games, Carl for developing them, Paul for playing them. Just because I don't understand the appeal of trying to become a Level 65 mage doesn't mean others can't have a great time doing so. Dan tried his hardest to get me to like roller coasters. Sorry, Dan, they're not for me. I'm simply not an adrenaline junkie. However, I can appreciate how much goes into making a good roller coaster and why so many people enjoy them.

Others have introduced me to things I might, or might not, have found on my own. Aiden pointed me to the beautiful soundtrack of "Atonement." Theo introduced me to Bruckner. Henry taught me the game Flux—how had I never played it before?—and retaught me gin rummy; I proceeded to beg him to play both games with me for months after. And even though Gavin couldn't for the life of him give me any reason to enjoy his stories about military training, he did take me to a great neighborhood restaurant.

A full, updated blog post will be up soon, but it's been a long week what with starting my new job(!) and I just haven't had the energy to write. What have your dates taught you?

Dating non-natives to the area

So Superquail asked me why, "you only want to date people from the area, but you don't want to date people who grew up in the area," in response to my posts about Carl. The answer is fairly simple, really. I live in a big city but I have dozens of "It's a Small World" moments every year, times when I meet someone who knows my best friend from high school or lived down the street from me growing up. It's not that I'm afraid or ashamed of my past, I just find that it's nice to meet people with whom I have absolutely no connections. The chances of that happening with a local are slim, so I like to date people who aren't from the area. I guess I also like playing tour guide—being a proud native, and all—but that's a much smaller reason.

In other news, Dan's back. He sent me an e-mail the other day, after being out of communication since April. He wrote a very sincere apology for not writing and after a few e-mails we're talking about trying to meet up sometime soon. I assume it would just be as friends, but that's totally fine with me (I think).

What is it with guys who like rodents?

First there was Groundhog Guy. Now there's Squirrel Boy. As you may have guessed, given my lack of posts since last weekend, the date was, well, fine. There was nothing really wrong with Carl except for the complete lack of chemistry between us. Had there been chemistry I could have overlooked the fact that we spent most of the five hours together engaged in sarcastic banter. Or that we spent over an hour in the botanical garden (it's big, but not that big). Or that every time he saw a squirrel he had to stop and take a picture of it with his cell phone camera. Or the fact that though we are the same age, I felt like I was about five years older than him.

Needless to say, we won't be going out again. Oh well. I tried.

I have a date!

On Saturday! Yay! Carl seems awesome and I can't wait to meet him. There are so many good things going for him, but I think one of the biggest is that he isn't from here. He's from clear across the country, meaning that we probably have absolutely zero shared acquaintances. (Having now had two bad experiences dating guys from here who both went to the same schools and know many of the people I know, I've decided that I should strive to date non-locals.)

More later.

I don't know if this counts

but I've been on Yelp a lot in the last month and have started going to events sponsored by Yelp or arranged by other Yelpers. Anyhoo, I've been meeting some new people this way, including a few cool guys. I've met them in person but we were brought together by the internet. Online dating? Perhaps not. What do you think?

Also, I was asked out by someone (I'll call him Carl) on the dating site. I think this might actually work out. He seems nice and he doesn't drink. Yay! It's so awkward trying to meet guys, since either the meeting places or the date spots often involve alcohol. So this is very promising.