Monday, July 7, 2008

Superquail asked

In response to my last post, Superquail asked what is keeping me from e-mailing the Craigslist guy:

Is it that you feel unsafe? Are you worried that you just don't have enough information to screen out a freak (or a guy with a groundhog)? What are the kinds of things you would need to feel more comfortable making contact with this person?

I guess it's that the dating site has all sorts of additional information on it, stuff you are asked to fill in when you start your profile (of course, all of that could be fake, but I like to think that it's mostly truthful), plus pictures. I didn't realize that when Craigslist personal ads are listed as having pictures that the pictures are usually of anything but the person in question. In this case, it's a (rather nice) drawing of a classroom—he's a high school teacher, supposedly.

I know that when you meet someone for the first time, say at a party or pub quiz or whatever, that you aren't going to have all of this background information; but at least you can see and talk to them in person. The gut feelings I get from an initial meeting are invaluable and I can't really get these online without much information.

I'll undoubtedly debate this in my head all day, but I'm thinking I might go ahead and e-mail Craigslist guy. What's the worst that could happen? Right?


Ily said...

Yeah, e-mail him! :-)
I can't blame people for not posting pictures of themselves on CL-- the closest I've ever gotten was a photo of half my face. I'd consider myself an old pro at CL (see, I even give it a nickname), so there's definitely things you can do to make the whole experience less sketchy. Ask for a picture and exchange a few e-mails before meeting (but not for more than a week or so). Obviously, meet in a public place. I once met someone from CL who brought a friend along on our first meeting. True, a little weird, but I actually thought it was a good idea, and the conversation actually ended up flowing much better with 3 people. That might not be possible on a date, but I'd volunteer to sit at the bar in dark glasses. How film noir. :-) Let us know how it goes!

Superquail said...

Asking the "what's the worst that could happen?" question is important. I have been told dozens of times that you are far more likely to be hurt by someone you know, someone who is close to you, then by a complete stranger. But the flip side of that is that you can balance that out if things go wrong. If a roommate eats your cheese, you can make said roommate pay for the cheese, or something. When a complete stranger does something that hurts you, there is less recourse for action.

On the other hand, I have also heard that you are more likely to be injured by your underwear elastic than by a stranger. But who believes statistics anyway?

Eric said...

talk to him on the phone to see if he is a freak, give his contact info to someone before you meet and tell them the PUBLIC place you are meeting to be on the safe side. also try,, or because craigslist is nasty