Saturday, June 28, 2008

Other sites

*ily has encouraged me to move beyond my current site and try elsewhere, namely Craigslist, if nothing else for the shock value. Just for kicks I decided to do just that. Here are the first six listings that came up for me when I visited the "men seeking women" section of my local Craigslist (spelling, punctuation, and formatting just as written):

  • Operation Girlfriend Rescue! - 26
    • This ad asks for someone who can "excite" him with all sorts of "stories and adventures" and it says that if you take him on a road trip he "opens up" and "likes the feeling of being free." He closes by requesting that one, "send me your pic, not from down there, your face first!"
    • He just got home from work and isn't tired so he wants to chat with a cool and special woman and put a smile on her face. He's willing to send a photo…
  • chat ? - 33
    • He just got home from hanging out and wants to chat.
  • I Would Love to Gently Shave You
    • I wouldn't feel good about posting this guy's entire post verbatim, and I really can't do it justice. Let's just say that he feels shaving a woman's "private area" can be "arousing and a truly beautiful experience."
  • Snuggle and Fall Asleep in My Arms
    • This is a single guy who is looking for someone to snuggle and hold in his arms. I like snuggling, a lot, perhaps more than the average person; however, I am not about to call someone up sheerly because of this one shared desire.
  • Am I the only normal one here? Please prove me wrong - 28
    • He says he feels strange about posting on CL, but that his friend had success so he thought he'd try it out. Then he goes on to list some of his physical attributes and say that his, "ideal situation is something between dating and a casual encounter." To him I reply: and how is that really any different from what most of these other guys want?

Very interesting. I don't know about this, *ily. Perhaps 2:30 on a Friday/Saturday night isn't the best time to be perusing the CL personals given what I'm looking for, but it was amusing all the same.

A new resolution

A couple of days ago, about the time I realized I'd been on the dating site for six months, I decided I needed to stop sitting around waiting for guys to e-mail me and go ahead and write them myself. Don't get me wrong, I've taken the first step before (as some of you may remember from earlier posts), but this is a little different.

Backing up a bit: Usually, when I have a decision to make that involves some degree of risk, be it financial, romantic, or otherwise, I wait it out. For example, there is a purse that I really want, but it is a lot of money. Do I need the purse? No. Do I want it? Yes. How badly do I want it? Ah, there is the essential question. In order to determine this, I put the purse on hold (well, in my shopping cart, actually, but same difference) and see how long I can go before purchasing it. If I really want it, eventually I'll break down and buy it. If, however, I decide that it's not something I really need or want, it will fade from memory, and, at some point, I'll get around to taking it out of my cart.

For all intents and purposes, that's what I've been doing so far with online dating. If I see a guy's profile that sounds good, I leave it open, checking it frequently to make sure he's still interesting, and then, after a week or so, if I still find him intriguing, I might, maybe, message him. A few times this has worked out, but more often than not, I never get anything back.

Such is the case with the current guy. I've been looking at his profile on and off for two weeks—the longer I look, the more interested I truly am, for I don't want to mess it up—and I finally worked up the nerve to message him two nights ago. So far, I've heard nothing. Before the message, we'd been looking at each others' profiles fairly regularly; since then, nothing from him. Too bad… he sounded great.

Onwards and upwards, though. I've decided to quit stalling and message guys who sound appealing. Hopefully, I can keep this resolution. Of course, you'll be the first to know whether I do or I don't.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

It's been six months

To the day since I started this online dating adventure. In that time I've learned a few things:

1. If someone has only posted one picture, that's a bad sign—especially if he is reluctant/outright refuses to post another photo. He's likely not the person he says he is.

2. If your match percentage is below 65% with someone, that is probably for a reason. Trust your gut and your reading of his profile, and spare yourself the painfully horrid date that is likely to ensue should you ignore the bad feelings.

3. If you are at all like me, the people you are looking to attract on the site are likely as shy as you. Therefore, you simply cannot sit back and wait for a message. If you want to get to know someone better, step up and do it.

4. Only leave your instant message feature active at night if you are interested in receiving sketchy propositions from near and far. I've gotten messages in all sorts of variations on the English language from guys in my hometown as well as people in the Middle East, Asia, Europe—basically anywhere where there is a member of this site—who are interested in a simple chat, or a web chat. Urg.

5. Finally, don't be afraid to frequently edit your profile. The better it reflects you and your true interests and personality, the better. Since beginning thrice-weekly updates (give or take) on my profile, I've been receiving significantly more profile views and messages.

Here's to another six months! Who knows what lies in store for me?

Monday, June 16, 2008

School's out! I'm back!

The school year is over which means I now have almost three months of paid vacation to do whatever I please. The timing is good too, as I've been getting a lot of profile views and a number of messages (including a few promising ones) in the last two weeks.

For example, last night I received an invitation to a concert. I'd never messaged with this guy before, but he read my profile and thought I might be interested in going. I am—except that I've already got non-negotiable plans for that night. However, he's been on Jeopardy and sounds really cool; therefore, I hope he and I can hang out at some other time. A Jeopardy contestant? How cool is that?

I was also messaged by a nice sounding guy who's right here in the City. Convenient.

Then there's the guy I wrote about a few months ago, the cocky one, remember? Anyway, he keeps IM-ing me when I'm not near the computer. Finally, he just sent me a restaurant rec, since he recognized my Foodie-tendencies from my profile.

Anyway, these are definitely promising possibilities and there are more out there. Yay vacation!