Bad Usernames: Part 3

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I have a penchant for collecting usernames that I think are terrible and then writing snarky comments about them. If you don't like the snark, skip this post. If you like my commentary or are curious to know what some of today's males think make good usernames, read on.

• Bigmonolith (Some get bonus points for using an SAT word, but not you for using this crude euphemism)
•DarkHeartXIII (Oooh, you sound so dark and scary…)
• Expertgumchewer (and that's something that should make me want to date you?)
• Halfgoat (So you're a satyr? That's so not my type.)
• Hugefuckingdork (This is just wrong… especially if you know anything about whale anatomy)
• Iamkoolaid (Are you punchy?)
• Iatemykitty (a. I'm a cat person, b. I'm basically a vegetarian, and c. WHAT?)
• Jizzblaster (Attention whore)
• Mrubermensch (Regardless of how you choose to define übermensch, this guy's ego seems to be a bit inflated)
• Nofishtoday1 (Are you eating fish? selling? catching? I'm confused.)
• Paprikanator (The Terminator of Spice World. Ooh, maybe Sporty Spice could have a death match with Paprikanator… who would win?)
• Plaidfluff (How can fluff be plaid?)
• Rockthemullet (Mullets are gross—the hairstyle and the fish)
• Sfgiantnut21 (This guy just needs one more letter to make this into a great username. As it is, the name makes me wonder if he's only got one…)
• Sockgremlin (If I'm not mistaken, this is a character from a bad '80s kids' book)
• Superkittykill (I sure hope this guy and Iatemycat never get together… cat lovers beware!)
• Urnotcompatible (Well then, why should I bother?)

And thus concludes another round of "What were they thinking?"

Tonight's rejects

Well they're not really rejects as they didn't contact me, but I've rejected them based on the first few lines of their profiles (and one for his horrid username).

Reject #1:
- Username: opolis
- Profile opening: "I came to [this place I live] to reinvent myself as a more interesting person. I may have gone too far. Do you ever feel like you are the last sane person on earth? Is that statistically possible? You'll notice I'm very dynamic. I'm more deviant than I look, and I like it that way. I can have a good conversation with anyone. I'm always working on a stupid art idea or helping a friend with one of their's. I like to ride things with two wheels…"
- Picture: Definitely not very deviant-looking.
- Conclusion: Ugh.

Reject #2:
- Username: smallweiner4u
- Profile opening: "My name is smallweiner4u, if you want to know why, you'll have to ask! Isn't that a clever way to catch your interest?"
- Photo: Not bad, but not attractive to me either, no matter what the username.
- Conclusion: There are much better ways to get my attention and "capture my interest" than this. At the very least, he could have made it smallweinerforyou. There's nothing I hate more than text/IM abbreviations.

The Date

Alright, you guys, here it is. I would have posted sooner, but I went back to work this week and then spent the last four days in bed with a bad cold.

The date was really great. I took the bus down to his hometown and we hung out for the whole day. I hadn't been to the town for years, so it was fun to be shown around by a local. We toured the main street and made a mental list of places to visit later, walked on the pier and at the beach, ate a delicious Thai lunch (he's been to Thailand and he says that restaurant has the best Thai food he's had outside of Thailand), listened to music at his house, spent some time at the local amusement park (where he got me to ride a roller coaster, something that no one's been able to do for the last dozen years), and then went back to the main street to check out all the places we'd spotted earlier.

Had things not gone as well, I easily could have left many hours earlier; however, we got along so well that I ended up taking the last bus out of town. That all said, I didn't get the feeling that either of us was attracted to the other; rather, I think we'll be good friends. We've e-mailed back and forth in the last week and, at some point, he'll probably make his way up the coast so I can give him a tour of my hometown, but for now I don't think anything more will come of it.

I feel good about this and I'm really happy to have a new friend.