OK. On to the main point. Standards. We all have them. Some are high, others are low, but, I would venture to guess, there are some basic things we all look for in a potential partner. I wrote a post about this ages ago but it's been a while since then. While Henry met a lot of my standards, there were a few (especially at the end—this should have been a warning sign) that he didn't.
As a joke, a co-worker gave me a page-a-day calendar for 2009 called "A Year of Bad Dates." It got buried in my closet upon leaving that job in June, so it was fun to spend a few minutes the other day catching up on what I'd missed. I've got a post to write about the calendar in general, but for today I'll focus on one page that said, "Do you think you're being too picky? Heck no!" Here are their "dating standards":
While I don't care about the George Clooney part, I quite like the "impeccably dressed" part. If there's one standard Henry didn't meet that Alex does, it's that one and I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is to have someone who puts as much effort in looking good as I do.
What do you think of the list?
3 comments:
Before my beloved H, I had dated 6 other guys, and at the beginning of every relationship I would notice one or two things that bothered me a little. I would let these things go in the light of the overwhelming fun I was having with the sexy new guy, but invariably when that buzz wore off, the things I noticed at the beginning were the things that drove me nuts at the end. So when people say that you're being picky, weigh that against dating a guy for several months before deciding that you were right about him in the first place. I say go with your instinct.
That's my 2 cents.
I've realized that the phenomenon Superquail is mentioning has also applied to platonic relationships I've had that in the end, didn't work out. If something about a person bothers you in the beginning, it'll only bother you more as time goes on. If you care about the person, you can ignore or live with some or all of that stuff, but if the person wears on you way too much, it might not get to that point. So yeah...I think that the theory probably holds.
As human beings, we have yet to fully understand how we work. Our instincts, our preconceived notions, are psychic structures that operate below our conscious level, etc., all kinds of things have an impact on how we experience other people. When something jumps out at you or niggles at you in the back of your mind the first time you meet someone, it's there for a reason. Whether or not it ends up being that little thing that leads to the destruction of the relationship, who knows? But it's very likely to be something that needs to be confronted and dealt with somewhere along the line.
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