In a Relationship

As most of you know or have guessed by now, Björn and I are now in a relationship. I've changed my status on the dating site (and Facebook) after a brief discussion with him—that began with the release of Julian Assange's dating profile and lovesick e-mails, if you can believe it. (Björn is mildly obsessed with the whole Wikileaks thing, especially since it, like he, has close ties to Iceland.)

Sadly for me, he returned to Iceland on Sunday where he'll stay for two weeks. Happily for you, I'll be filling his absence by posting a bunch of online dating stories I've found in the media recently.

Today we'll start things off with a story about a Seattle woman who is trying to find love through Facebook, as written by my wonderful aunt. (Have you ever tried to meet someone through FB?)

Post-Thanksgiving Update

Oops—it's been a week. Sorry about that. I was getting so good at posting regularly. Thanksgiving and then a nasty cold happened.

Anyway, my third date with Björn went quite well. We did indeed repeat my first date with Henry (Indian food and classical music), this time with Henry being on stage. There was no awkwardness between the three of us—though I didn't tell Björn that Henry was my ex-boyfriend, just a friend—and a fun evening was had by all.

It was raining when Björn and I left, but we had to walk to the bus. On the way to the bus we examined the neighborhood's murals—and had our first kiss. From there, the plan to take the bus was abandoned and we ended the night at my place.

We hung out again the following night, but then it was Thanksgiving break. He had Wednesday-Sunday off and no interest in an American Thanksgiving, so he booked a last-minute trip to Vegas, while I headed to my parents' house. He was very clear about how much he missed me while he was gone, even passing up Zumanity at my urging/request (if you don't know what it is or why I wouldn't want him to go there alone, watch this), and was very eager to see me upon his return on Sunday.

Now, I like him. However, I'm pretty sure I don't like him on the same level as he likes me. For example, when we were talking about how we have both had many changes in our lives in the last year, his list included moving from Iceland to two other international cities before moving here last spring—and meeting me. Oh, and when I said that this year had been a big year for me, in that I went with having slept with no one at the beginning of 2009 to one at the beginning of 2010 to, well, a few more than that this year, he said, "and I hope only one next year."

I've never been in this position before. I've always been the one that cared about the other person more deeply (obsessively?) so to have the tables turned on me is unexpected and confusing, to say the least. We've got two and a half weeks left before Björn goes to Iceland for two weeks at the holidays, so we'll see where they take us.

String-less Fun

The trailer for the upcoming movie No Strings Attached shows nothing relating to online dating per se; however it does address the idea of casual sex, which some online daters seem more fond of than others. I've had a couple of encounters in the last year that fall near that category, but I've realized that I'm just not cut out for that type of relationship (or lack there of, as the case may be). Is anybody? It just seems so emotionally complicated. What do you think?

In case you haven't seen this yet, here's a funny video about dating in the internet age. (Oh, and in case you're wondering, Björn is incredibly Google-able.)

I Might Have Been Wrong

After little contact throughout the week, I heard from Björn again on Thursday. It was a very short message, simply asking how my week was going. I could have written back with an equally short response, but I decided to be spontaneous and ask if he had any plans that night. I figured if we didn't go out then, I might not be free until after Thanksgiving week, and that didn't really seem fair.

Well, he was free, so we went to dinner where we sat and talked for over two hours. He's definitely growing on me, because after dinner, I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. We ended up spending an hour wandering through the MoMA and another hour watching the ice skaters at Union Square before I finally realized that it was past 10 and I had to get up early the next morning. I waited with him until his bus came, at which point he kissed me on the cheek and went on his way.

That's when the butterflies started to flit around and I realized that not only would I like to go out with him again, but I didn't want to wait over a week to do so. Therefore, we'll be going on a near repeat of my first date with Henry—to hear Henry sing. (H and I have stayed friends, seeing each other at least every couple of months.) Don't worry, I asked H first if it would be OK to bring someone, and he was only encouraging.

I will, of course, let you know what happens; however, it might be a few days. I've got a couple of articles about online dating that will post in the meantime.

Puns—Everybody Loves Them, Right?

While browsing profiles the other day, I came across one that used more puns and wordplay than I've ever encountered—and that's saying something. Check out the following sections of his profile:


About Me:
Yes-indeed I am a colorful person! Life's a big, hue-ge thing full of shades-of-gray, but I choose to cast the most vibrant light on it that I can. Maybe you can already guess at the tint of my lenses by the tone of my voice ;)

My full profile runs the whole gamut but suffice it to say that there are a few things to be sure of - a PAL is nice but a pal-ette is really where it's at.

What's that? The temperature's cooling as you stick out your tongue-sten? Why not just HID that away and say hallo-gen! I bet if I keep this up, you'll make me walk the Planck :O

You Should Send Me a Message If:
You laugh at jokes like "Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says; we don't serve your type here." You might then follow-up with "but then Comic' got bold and stayed." To which I'd retort "Comic' got away with that for a while, but the bartender soon got tired of his face, and kicked him out - an act that only served to underline what might have become a grave situation."

Or you find great delight in hearing that "A proton and a neutron walked into a bar, where they ordered drinks. When the neutron went to pay, the bartender said; for you, no charge."

If you didn't laugh (since that would only act as encouragement,) you can at least tolerate that sort of behavior and give a hint when the pun-ch line was crossed. Words can be serious, but I say that they're just more for play.


Now, I have to admit that I rather like that Comic Sans joke; however, I could have done without all of the other jokes, puns, etc. It's just too much. What do you think? Would you message him?

This Could Be You

Well, yes, it could, but it won't. Is there anyone out there who would be excited by this? (Note: I blurred it a bit and made it grayscale to somewhat obscure his identity.)

Oh, but it gets better. This [insert your favorite derogatory male name here] thinks he can win us over with this profile pic:

A Message From the Prince of Persia

Well, not quite, but he is from Tehran. He sent me this message last night, exactly as it appears below. I can't even begin to say how much I wish he lived here so we could be together forever…

hello [my username],
It will be pitty if we just visit a profile and not drop a line..
please let me to taste happiness by your friendship.
My dear sweet angel ,I feel you in heart and it made me warm and alive..
here is my email: [removed for privacy]
I wait to hear from you.life is short,let don't lose the opportunity.
yours for ever

[first name here]

"from Ralf Waldo Emerson:The only way to have a friend is to be a one"

I Don't Know What To Say About This

I just received a message from a guy who lives in SF, is near to my age, but couldn't be further from my tastes—I don't think. Since I've decided not to post people's real usernames anymore (I got in a spot of trouble for that last spring), let's just say his name was something like RavenousHOTbear and his profile picture is of a black bear.

The message read:

I really want to get to know you. Being a Bear, It isnt easy you know!!!!!GGRRRRRRRRRR

So I looked him up and found the first sentences of his profile. I've pasted them below with the first two adjectives replaced so as to protect his identity (though why I really feel the need to protect this guy's identity is beyond me).

Grrrrrr... I'm a [Ravenousss], [Hotttttt] Bearrr. Uhh, yeah. So I live in a cave but I totally am looking for that Perfect Honeeeyyy. I'm not into DUDES who don't shave. I am talking to you there Beg Burly BOB. Anywhoo.....

All I can conclude is that this guy is a total weirdo. At least he made me laugh…

Wowwwwwwwwwww!!!

I guess this is meant to be flattering, but I'll let you decide:

Subject Line: Wowwwwwwwwwww!!!
Message: Look at youuuuuuuu…
Do you have any idea how could there be so much beauty and sexiness in one person?