Sunday, March 28, 2010

Intelligence and Maturity

This week has taught me a valuable lesson: a person can be amazingly knowledgeable and intelligent without being all that mature. I'm sure some of you will disagree with me about my definition of mature, but I feel mine is pretty standard.

Here's the thing: Travis is very, very smart. Without telling you exactly who he is, I can say that he is a five-time national champion in his field, one that requires a lot of knowledge about a lot of different things. Those of you who know me, know that I like smart people and that I want a partner who (at least) matches me in intelligence. However, you also know that I'm someone who values the more 'cultured' aspects of life—fine art and music, excellent food, smart humor—and have little interest in low-brow, often mass-market entertainment. Call me a snob, I probably am, but that's just me. Travis definitely beats me in smarts, but it's these other qualities that don't match up. I feel like most of the things he does in his free time are about the same as those done by boys half his age.

Then there's another kind of maturity: maturity in relationships. I get the feeling that Travis hasn't dated much, much less been in many—if any—relationships. That's fine in theory, I certainly don't have that much experience, but with him it shows. There are few good things about this, namely his great frequency of communication, but I'm not sure I want to be the one to train him on the others. And yet, I'm not ready to tell him off just yet. If he decides we shouldn't see each other again, then I'll probably be OK with that; however, if he does want to see me again, then I'll be happy to see him.

Also, as much as it bothers me to admit this, I'm kind of done with the dating site for a while. Having been off it for about a month while I've been messaging and seeing Travis, I don't really have any great desire to get back on it at the moment. I've gone on dates with seven different people in three months and I'm kind of exhausted with the whole thing. The part that bothers me is that I do want to find someone, to be with someone, but perhaps I should just try what so many have before me and let things happen naturally.

2 comments:

Lanafactrix said...

Heh. My boyfriend's getting his PhD in physics. I have an MA. We both snicker whenever someone says "balls."

I know EXACTLY what you mean!

And if it helps, I went through similar fatigue when I tried the online dating thing last year. After a few different guys didn't pan out, I was just tired of the effort it took.

Superquail said...

You also just started a job recently, that may be contributing to your emotional fatigue. Taking some time off from the world of on-line dating might be refreshing.

Can you give more specifics about Travis? You say that he is into the sort of things that tend to be done by younger folks, but what exactly are those things? Does he play foozeball? Hide-and-seek? Does he invite for a round of a peek-a-boo? That could get boring.