I was going to post something horribly trivial, but when I realized that this one was going to be post number 100, I figured I ought to write something a tad more meaningful. I'm going to save the wrap-up of my year of online dating for December 26, as that is my official online-dating anniversary, but I will offer a reflection on being single during the holidays.
Holiday parties, family gatherings, and wintertime activities are full of opportunities to do something with a significant other. When one is single, one can, of course, go to or do one of these things by oneself, but it takes a lot of confidence. Questions like, "Oh, who'd you come with?" or "One pair of skates or two" can be frustrating for a single person, because as much as one would like to say, "My boyfriend X" or "Two pairs, please," those responses are impossible. While most will be supportive, some will show pity.
Spare me the pity please. If I'm at your event, offer to introduce me to someone new (and single) or talk to me about anything other than your date/partner/spouse. If you've got a moment free in your holiday schedule, offer to go on a friendly date with me or another single friend of yours. There's nothing like this time of year to make single people feel like we shouldn't intrude on our coupled friends, since they've probably got two (or more) sets of family members to be with.
However, all of this isn't to say that I won't be looking for a special person with whom to spend what's left of the holiday season. I might, if I'm feeling particularly outgoing, use some of the tips given by Wayne Elise (founder of social coaching company Charisma Arts) in an article in today's SF Chronicle to try to secure a "holidate." If all else fails—and I'm feeling really desperate (which, hopefully, will not happen)—I can always go to Craigslist where there's a plethora of men looking for dates for their company holiday party…
Finally, I'll leave you with a bit of thoughtfulness (with a dash of zany), as written by a random user on the dating site last night:
Identity is such a slippery thing. Bhuddists would say that our personas are an illusion and that we are all part of the same cosmic fabric, the universe pretending to be people. I really like this idea...I also like curly fries!
New Thoughts
3 years ago
5 comments:
How about that, I like curly fries too. Congrats on your 100th post! You can always bring me with you, you know (or some other single person that you already know and like) :-)
Is your skating scenario hypothetical? I didn't think you skated...
Oh, and, even if you're trying to scope out potential dates, it can be easier with a wingman/woman.
You know, I've often wondered who really enjoys "the holiday season." In general, I must confess that I don't. This is the time of year that is associated with finals, a huge increase in my work load, depression due to season affective disorder, and suddenly I have a bunch of people inviting me to go to this party or that event, and all I really want to do is curl up under the blankets and hibernate.
I don't much care for the advice given in that article. Just because someone isn't completely, 100% happy in their current relationship at that moment, doesn't mean you should hit on them. As someone who is in a relationship, I have to admit that one of the benefits is that guys ease up on the hitting. It's a process I've never much enjoyed.
I found the advice about hitting on people already in relationships to be distasteful too. Perhaps it's because if I'm in a relationship, I'm IN the relationship, but maybe it's just because I have no desire to be a home-wrecker.
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