I started to write this as a response to Lanafactrix's comment on my last post, but I decided to make a new post out of it.
Lanafactrix has identified with my rational brain completely. Paul probably is bad news, but I'm not quite ready to let go of him yet.
The thing is, I think I like Theo a lot. L suggested that if he doesn't light my fire, that perhaps I ought to be with someone who does. However, it's not that Theo doesn't light my fire, rather that we are moving at a very different speed than I have with Paul.
I don't know how to drive, but if I did, Peter would be a red Miata and Theo would be a silver Volvo. The Miata is prone to being pulled over by cops, but is exhilarating to drive; the Volvo, on the other hand, is top quality, down to earth, and safe.
Ultimately, I know I want the Volvo, but I'm not quite done with my test drive of the Miata.
New Thoughts
3 years ago
7 comments:
It's true that some fires are slow-burning. I personally don't see anything wrong with continuing to date both guys, provided you make no promises of exclusivity. Who knows, maybe something'll happen that will make it crystal-clear?
And funny you should pick a silver Volvo--did you know that that's what Edward drives in Twilight?
My mom drives a silver Volvo...does that mean Theo would be the type of guy to take and meet the 'folks? :-)
Anyway, I can imagine (as best I can) that if I felt as much attraction for someone as you do for Paul, I'd be tempted to explore it further, too. But he totally sounds like a player and from all accounts, that's so not what you're looking for.
It does sound really confusing. I wish I could offer some advice from experience, but I'm always here with the (overly) rational brain if needed :-)
Lanafactrix, exclusivity is the key word here for sure. I've not talked about it with Theo, but we've only gone on the two dates. Paul and I have been very clear that we are not exclusive and that it would be hypocritical for either of us to be exclusive when the other isn't. Paul probably is a player; he's the season five Logan to my Rory, to continue the Gilmore Girls reference.
And no, I know basically nothing about Twilight except the names of the two main characters. It is funny that I should happen to pick the car owned by the hit movie character right now, though. I just like Volvos and picked silver as a neutral color.
So yes, Ily, Theo is definitely the type of guy to bring home to meet the parents. I'm sure they'd like him.
While it's nice when your parents like the guy you're dating, it's not always the best way to judge a fellow's worth. Parents are looking for something very different in terms of a prospective spouse for their child. They are going to be very conservative and want to go with someone who is unquestionably a sure thing. For parents, this means a steady job, a clean hair cut, stable family relations, reliable, trustworthy, responsible, and inevitably dull.
If either of my parents had married someone their parents approved of, they would never have married each other. And yet they have a good marriage, as far as I can tell.
Perhaps I'm dull SQ, because all of those things you listed that a parent would want are the things I want. That said, I'm fortunate to have parents who have always had my best interests at heart and have let me make my own decisions even if they weren't the ones they would have made.
Ha! Well, there is that, too.
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