What is it with guys who like rodents?

First there was Groundhog Guy. Now there's Squirrel Boy. As you may have guessed, given my lack of posts since last weekend, the date was, well, fine. There was nothing really wrong with Carl except for the complete lack of chemistry between us. Had there been chemistry I could have overlooked the fact that we spent most of the five hours together engaged in sarcastic banter. Or that we spent over an hour in the botanical garden (it's big, but not that big). Or that every time he saw a squirrel he had to stop and take a picture of it with his cell phone camera. Or the fact that though we are the same age, I felt like I was about five years older than him.

Needless to say, we won't be going out again. Oh well. I tried.

I have a date!

On Saturday! Yay! Carl seems awesome and I can't wait to meet him. There are so many good things going for him, but I think one of the biggest is that he isn't from here. He's from clear across the country, meaning that we probably have absolutely zero shared acquaintances. (Having now had two bad experiences dating guys from here who both went to the same schools and know many of the people I know, I've decided that I should strive to date non-locals.)

More later.

I don't know if this counts

but I've been on Yelp a lot in the last month and have started going to events sponsored by Yelp or arranged by other Yelpers. Anyhoo, I've been meeting some new people this way, including a few cool guys. I've met them in person but we were brought together by the internet. Online dating? Perhaps not. What do you think?

Also, I was asked out by someone (I'll call him Carl) on the dating site. I think this might actually work out. He seems nice and he doesn't drink. Yay! It's so awkward trying to meet guys, since either the meeting places or the date spots often involve alcohol. So this is very promising.

Craigslist, zines, and an ex

When last I wrote I was trying to decide whether or not to e-mail the guy from Craigslist. I might never have gotten up the gumption to do it had *ily not pointed out that CL listings expire after a week (meaning I wouldn't have any way to contact the guy). So I did. I waited nervously for a while to see if I'd get anything back…and I did! He sounded cool and he thought I sounded cool and he told me a bit more about himself. I wrote back…

A little more than a week later, I've still not heard from him again. Oh well. At least I gave it a shot. I'll probably be a little more comfortable e-mailing people from CL now (I found two more promising listings over the weekend), so perhaps something will come from this.

Over the weekend, I went to the Zine Fest and checked out lots of independent magazines, books, art, etc. I mention this because there was one guy selling a zine called The Bad Date Zine. Anyway, I started talking to him and he said he's taking submissions for the next issue. Needless, to say, the Groundhog Day date is going to be submitted. (I'll be sure to let you know if he decides to publish it.)

Finally, I volunteered to be an extra in an independent movie yesterday. I was told to show up at 2 and prepare to be there for the next 4 hours or so. When I walked in, who should be a couple ahead of me at the check-in desk? My very first boyfriend, Scarf-boy (as he was known to my friends—he gave me a nice scarf for Christmas). Aack. I was a bit of a stalker in high school, and that was part of what led to the downfall of this relationship. Needless to say, I was not about to identify myself to him if I could avoid it. When it was time for the shoot, the producer started pairing up the guys and girls as if we were on dates and it was all I could do to think happy thoughts and not be paired up with him. I wasn't, thankfully. However, over the course of the afternoon, it became apparent that a) he recognized me and b) he had said as much to the woman he'd been paired with. She then told me and all was revealed. As it turns out, he's grown-up to be a very nice guy (not that he wasn't to begin with) and we ended up sitting next to each other and talking for about the last hour. The best part about the whole thing: I have absolutely no feelings for this guy anymore, which meant that I could have a great conversation with him without feeling nervous or silly. It's too bad, really, as he's making oodles of money as an engineer and wildfire-fire fighter and looks pretty good to boot. That said, he now lives in another state (he was home visiting his parents), so even if we had wanted to date, it would be pretty impossible.

Superquail asked

In response to my last post, Superquail asked what is keeping me from e-mailing the Craigslist guy:

Is it that you feel unsafe? Are you worried that you just don't have enough information to screen out a freak (or a guy with a groundhog)? What are the kinds of things you would need to feel more comfortable making contact with this person?

I guess it's that the dating site has all sorts of additional information on it, stuff you are asked to fill in when you start your profile (of course, all of that could be fake, but I like to think that it's mostly truthful), plus pictures. I didn't realize that when Craigslist personal ads are listed as having pictures that the pictures are usually of anything but the person in question. In this case, it's a (rather nice) drawing of a classroom—he's a high school teacher, supposedly.

I know that when you meet someone for the first time, say at a party or pub quiz or whatever, that you aren't going to have all of this background information; but at least you can see and talk to them in person. The gut feelings I get from an initial meeting are invaluable and I can't really get these online without much information.

I'll undoubtedly debate this in my head all day, but I'm thinking I might go ahead and e-mail Craigslist guy. What's the worst that could happen? Right?

I've been Yelping…

a lot more than I have been looking for a date online. Well, sort of. You see, there's this guy I found on the dating site a little while back who seemed pretty awesome. Problem was that he was not immediately in town, but rather a two-hour drive north. However, he works in town and said he was planning on moving here in a few months. He also said that he spent some time on Yelp. Not wanting to start anything with a guy that far away, but still interested, I messaged him and asked for his Yelp address so I could read his reviews. He sent me it, I read them, and that was that.

Then, about 10 days or so ago, I became, overnight, obsessed with writing reviews on Yelp. After writing about 20, I wrote the guy back—on Yelp—and asked if he'd like to compare notes with me. I didn't hear anything for over a week, so I assumed I never would. But then, low and behold, today I got a message back from him saying that he had been moving in to his new place here in town and had been a bit preoccupied, but that he would like to compare reviews once he was settled.

So we'll see. Perhaps something will come out of this.

In the meantime, I decided to check out Craigslist again. Tonight, being a Sunday, I figured I might have a better chance at finding legitimate postings, rather than the "are you free tonight to come over to shag" kind of posts I'd seen on a Saturday night. Sure enough, I found some, including one particularly good one. I know I wrote that I need to stop second-guessing myself, but, in comparison to the people on my regular dating site, I don't feel that I really know much about this guy (other than that he has an awesome sense of humor). What do you say? Should I message him?

Other sites

*ily has encouraged me to move beyond my current site and try elsewhere, namely Craigslist, if nothing else for the shock value. Just for kicks I decided to do just that. Here are the first six listings that came up for me when I visited the "men seeking women" section of my local Craigslist (spelling, punctuation, and formatting just as written):

• Operation Girlfriend Rescue! - 26
• This ad asks for someone who can "excite" him with all sorts of "stories and adventures" and it says that if you take him on a road trip he "opens up" and "likes the feeling of being free." He closes by requesting that one, "send me your pic, not from down there, your face first!"
• LATE IM CHAT WITH A COOL, PAMPERING & GOODLOOKING GUY…- 34
• He just got home from work and isn't tired so he wants to chat with a cool and special woman and put a smile on her face. He's willing to send a photo…
  
• chat ? - 33
• He just got home from hanging out and wants to chat.
  
• I Would Love to Gently Shave You
• I wouldn't feel good about posting this guy's entire post verbatim, and I really can't do it justice. Let's just say that he feels shaving a woman's "private area" can be "arousing and a truly beautiful experience."
• Snuggle and Fall Asleep in My Arms
• This is a single guy who is looking for someone to snuggle and hold in his arms. I like snuggling, a lot, perhaps more than the average person; however, I am not about to call someone up sheerly because of this one shared desire.
  
• Am I the only normal one here? Please prove me wrong - 28
• He says he feels strange about posting on CL, but that his friend had success so he thought he'd try it out. Then he goes on to list some of his physical attributes and say that his, "ideal situation is something between dating and a casual encounter." To him I reply: and how is that really any different from what most of these other guys want?

Very interesting. I don't know about this, *ily. Perhaps 2:30 on a Friday/Saturday night isn't the best time to be perusing the CL personals given what I'm looking for, but it was amusing all the same.

A new resolution

A couple of days ago, about the time I realized I'd been on the dating site for six months, I decided I needed to stop sitting around waiting for guys to e-mail me and go ahead and write them myself. Don't get me wrong, I've taken the first step before (as some of you may remember from earlier posts), but this is a little different.

Backing up a bit: Usually, when I have a decision to make that involves some degree of risk, be it financial, romantic, or otherwise, I wait it out. For example, there is a purse that I really want, but it is a lot of money. Do I need the purse? No. Do I want it? Yes. How badly do I want it? Ah, there is the essential question. In order to determine this, I put the purse on hold (well, in my Amazon.com shopping cart, actually, but same difference) and see how long I can go before purchasing it. If I really want it, eventually I'll break down and buy it. If, however, I decide that it's not something I really need or want, it will fade from memory, and, at some point, I'll get around to taking it out of my cart.

For all intents and purposes, that's what I've been doing so far with online dating. If I see a guy's profile that sounds good, I leave it open, checking it frequently to make sure he's still interesting, and then, after a week or so, if I still find him intriguing, I might, maybe, message him. A few times this has worked out, but more often than not, I never get anything back.

Such is the case with the current guy. I've been looking at his profile on and off for two weeks—the longer I look, the more interested I truly am, for I don't want to mess it up—and I finally worked up the nerve to message him two nights ago. So far, I've heard nothing. Before the message, we'd been looking at each others' profiles fairly regularly; since then, nothing from him. Too bad… he sounded great.

Onwards and upwards, though. I've decided to quit stalling and message guys who sound appealing. Hopefully, I can keep this resolution. Of course, you'll be the first to know whether I do or I don't.

It's been six months

To the day since I started this online dating adventure. In that time I've learned a few things:

1. If someone has only posted one picture, that's a bad sign—especially if he is reluctant/outright refuses to post another photo. He's likely not the person he says he is.

2. If your match percentage is below 65% with someone, that is probably for a reason. Trust your gut and your reading of his profile, and spare yourself the painfully horrid date that is likely to ensue should you ignore the bad feelings.

3. If you are at all like me, the people you are looking to attract on the site are likely as shy as you. Therefore, you simply cannot sit back and wait for a message. If you want to get to know someone better, step up and do it.

4. Only leave your instant message feature active at night if you are interested in receiving sketchy propositions from near and far. I've gotten messages in all sorts of variations on the English language from guys in my hometown as well as people in the Middle East, Asia, Europe—basically anywhere where there is a member of this site—who are interested in a simple chat, or a web chat. Urg.

5. Finally, don't be afraid to frequently edit your profile. The better it reflects you and your true interests and personality, the better. Since beginning thrice-weekly updates (give or take) on my profile, I've been receiving significantly more profile views and messages.

Here's to another six months! Who knows what lies in store for me?

School's out! I'm back!

The school year is over which means I now have almost three months of paid vacation to do whatever I please. The timing is good too, as I've been getting a lot of profile views and a number of messages (including a few promising ones) in the last two weeks.

For example, last night I received an invitation to a concert. I'd never messaged with this guy before, but he read my profile and thought I might be interested in going. I am—except that I've already got non-negotiable plans for that night. However, he's been on Jeopardy and sounds really cool; therefore, I hope he and I can hang out at some other time. A Jeopardy contestant? How cool is that?

I was also messaged by a nice sounding guy who's right here in the City. Convenient.

Then there's the guy I wrote about a few months ago, the cocky one, remember? Anyway, he keeps IM-ing me when I'm not near the computer. Finally, he just sent me a restaurant rec, since he recognized my Foodie-tendencies from my profile.

Anyway, these are definitely promising possibilities and there are more out there. Yay vacation!