Thursday, March 6, 2008

Advice from Superquail

My friend Superquail, who was once my roommate and is an excellent source of advice, sent me these lessons she's learned from dating/relationships:

1. Never date a guy as a "project." A person is not a fixer-upper. Take them as they are or get out.
2. Run away as fast as you can as soon as a guy threatens to commit suicide if you dump him. It may not sound as crazy as threatening homicide, but it really is equally fucked up.
3. Never date a guy just because you are bored. It doesn't end well.
4. Never date a guy who thinks of himself as "a boy." Those who think of themselves as men tend to act like men, and at this point in my life, I'm done with boys.
5. Never date a musician unless you are a musician, in which case only date musicians. When musicians and non-musicians date, it is bad juju.
6. Never EVER date someone who thinks he is smarter than you. He isn't.
7. Poo on any guy who tries to pull ultimatums on you. The one I got was, "If you don't go to the University of [deleted for privacy], this relationship can't work." The relationship ended, and I went to Whitman. I made the right choice. ;)
8. Avoid guys who find you exotic. Ethnicity should not be fetishized.
9. Pay close attention to the things a guy does that irritate you at the beginning of the relationship. More than likely, these will be the same things that irritate you at the end of the relationship, only by then you pretty much want to strangle him. If there are no things that irritate you after three dates, KEEPER!!
10. Observe his friends. This can tell you a lot. In my experience, men who have a lot of women friends are way more date-able then men who prefer to "hang with the guys."
11. Observe the way he behaves with his family, especially his mother. This will give you a lot of insight into what motivates his actions and how he views women. No matter how awesome a guy seems, if he is on bad terms with his mother, brace yourself for some baggage. There are plenty of guys who are worth the baggage, but it's best to go into these situations with a heads-up.

What lessons have you learned?

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