Monday, March 24, 2008

A Response to Rainbowswearing

Some guy, whose username is Rainbowswearing, wrote a post on his profile about the difference between approaching someone in real life versus doing so online. He says that he sees all of these people on the site that he would approach at a party, but after looking at their full profiles online he can't think of anything to say. I found this very interesting, because I feel quite the opposite. Perhaps he is more extroverted than I, but I have a much harder time approaching strangers at parties/social situations, than I do online. For me, it is much easier to be ignored/rejected online than in person.

Someone commented on this, saying, "I think it's just the fact that the more you have to go off of, the more likely you are to be picky." I do agree with this, as there are plenty of attractive people that I have ignored (or even blocked) because of things they wrote on their profiles; nevertheless, I'd rather know something about the person I'm approaching before I open my mouth.

What do you think? Is it easier for you to approach people online or in person?


Katie said...

From Superquail:

I have been thinking about your question over whether it is easier to approach someone in person or on-line. I haven't had a lot of experience approaching people on-line, but I have done a bit of the in-person dating.

When I think back on how it was a I hooked up with any of my previous boyfriends, it's a rather interesting process. Had I read a profile by David I probably would never have considered him, but when we met, sparks were flying all over the place. I probably would never have picked Clark either, based on the sort of self-involved profile he would have written, but I ended up dating him for a year.

So, I have two conclusions:

1. You don't get the "sparks" activity by looking at someone's profile.
2. All the guys who I wouldn't have dated had I known them well enough before I met them in person, I probably shouldn't have dated anyway, sparks or no.

Sparks are fun, though. And if there is chemistry then it perhaps indicates that the underlying similarities are more powerful then any external differences that exist.

Ily said...

Choosing dates online seems so much easier in theory, but in practice I think it might be paraphrase Sex and the City, "Why can't they have one web site called 'This is the guy for you', and they just have one great guy, and they bring him to your house..." (The original discussion was about cribs) :-)

Anna said...

Online, definitely. I'm naturally a bit shy when it comes to approaching people in person -- and I think I give off an unapproachable "look but don't touch" vibe in bars. I've met a guy in a bar once in my life.

This was why it was such a big deal for me to meet a guy at a party last weekend, tell myself "I'm going out and getting what I deserve," call him and have a lovely 20 minute conversation that ended in me asking him out. Even if nothing comes of it, the fact that I took the reins and did this is so empowering. I feel like I'm coming out of my shell a little more.