Saturday, November 29, 2008

A love call, in limericks

I did e-mail the Craigslist guy, but I'm worried that I might have waited too long. *ily told me that the messages expire after a week, and it was only the seventh day, so hopefully he'll get it, but I'm not too hopeful.

Since there doesn't seem to be anyone new on the dating site that is worth my time, I went back over to Craigslist to see what I could find. There were a lot of the typical Friday night/early Saturday morning booty-call messages, but I did find the following post (from which you can finally be sure about where I live):

A love call, in limericks - 24

Love’s tough (somewhat more so than rhyming)
It can bankrupt you, nickling and diming
Still, I’m no misanthrope
And I’ve just got to hope
Against hope that I’ve got the right timing

I once locked my heart in the freezer
To stay there until I’m a geezer
But if some little gal
Should improve my morale
I’d first thaw it out; then I’d squeeze her

And though I may be a late-comer
I think it would not be a bummer
To take bike rides with me
Down to old GGP
In the cool Frisco winter, and summer

But if she should think me a hassle
(And heaven forbid this be facile)
I would work to perfect
My display of respect
Till she knew she was queen of the castle

And if her love started to dwindle
What would I do, her heart to rekindle?
Under stars bright and shiny
I’d fondle her heinie
And thus I would act out my swindle

And if things align, and we’re ready
(Though to think this far now would be heady)
We could write us a tome
Till the cattle come home
And yeah, I suppose we’d go steady


Yes, it's dumb to put limericks on Craigslist
But I'll fill up the mill when it begs grist
And I might be a dork
But if you care one quark
Let’s test out how it feels when our legs twist


Francesca said...

Well, this guy is no ferlinghetti but it was kind of amusing (although not necessarily attractive) until at the end he mentions quarks -- then it's a big flashing red alarm of no.

Katie said...

The quark is a big no as is the line about "fondling her heinie."

Superquail said...

I wonder what kind of responses he got. It would be interesting to do a research project on dating sites and see what sort of profiles get what types of responses and what kinds of descriptions, adjectives, etc. are the most successful. I doubt it is a perfect science but I'm guessing that you could map some trends.

Katie said...

That would be a really interesting study, Superquail. Perhaps that's what I should go to grad school for—I'm sure someone would fund me for that.

Superquail said...

A study like that would fall under "sociology" which is an interesting social science, but some people question its legitimacy.

Katie said...

Yeah, I had a lot of Soc majors in my education classes and they were always bitching and moaning about how nobody else took their discipline seriously. Too bad, it is pretty useful.