You should message me if…

The dating site has a profile section that is titled that way and it can be very interesting to read what people say. Here are some examples:

"…you are selling a medium to large sized bust of Chairman Mao made out of opaque white glass. (I don't particularly admire the man. I just want to turn him into a lamp and/or use him as a hat model.) If not that, just message me if, you know, we are some what statistically compatible." (m3rm3r)

"You feel it…isnt that what it starts with? And if my description on here isn't too vague for you and you might be interested in actually getting to know me.Or,you're curious..Please just be at least 95% intelligent..I would go for 100% but let's be realistic." (lyesus)

"You don't want to borrow money off of me. --OR-- You need emergency medical assistance and there's no one else to call you an ambulance. I'll get right on it! --OR-- You want to borrow money off of me. Guess I'm just fickle like that! ;)" (Blah McJones)

"You feel able to converse with me and you kick ass. You know who you are. Everyone jokes that they kick ass but most know, deep down inside, that they truly kick nothing. Would you call yourself giggly? Yep . . . not kicking ass. Also you should have no harsh feelings about my open support of casual sex. My wang is mine and I'll use it however I want and I respect your right to use your junk however you see fitting as well!" (386643)

I'm a little concerned about the ambulance guy. If I'm in need of an ambulance, I don't think I'm going to IMing a random guy on a dating site so that he can call an ambulance… Oh, and all of the statements are copied exactly as they were written—no matter how bad the punctuation and/or spelling.