Saturday, January 31, 2009

Girlfriend Application

Having had a conversation yesterday about what is and isn't important in a partner, I thought that this was an interesting—albeit ridiculous—way to determine relationship potential. I find #9 rather offensive. What do you think of this list?

GIRLFRIEND APPLICATION - 26

1. Who did you vote for president? Why?

2. How close to your family are you? If not, why not?

3. What are your favorite tv shows and movies?

4. How often do you work out? How healthy are you?

5. What is your body type?

6. Describe your perfect date.....

7. What is your occupation? What is your ideal occupation?

8. School??? Done? Going? Future?

9. Why are you single now?

10. What annoys you the most about the opposite sex?

11. What is your favorite feature on me?

12. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

13. Are you religious? Explain..

14. Where have you traveled? Where do you want to travel?


15. Name 3 things that you must have in a relationship:


16. Have any kids? Ever been engaged? Married?

17. Name 3 things that you love about yourself?

I am fortunate enough to be the perfect age of 26 where I am mature and successful enough to be ready for a real quality relationship and at the same time young and energetic enough to make new friends and travel buddies without the deep involvement. So I am open to anything really. A girl that is fit or slim/petite is important to me as I am super fit. I take pride in my body and hopefully you do as well. Living with the deaths of my mother and best friend it is important to have a girl that is caring and cheerful most days. I just love living life happy and not dwelling on anything negative. No “Debbie Downers”! No drugs.

11 comments:

Superquail said...

Ugh! What a horrible little man! That part about how its important that his girl be slim, petite, and as obsessed with working out and health-nuttage as he is makes me want gag. Who does he think he is? A man who needs a small woman to feel manly strikes me as remarkably fragile.

The part where he said that he needs a cheerful girl who is happy most of the time is just the sort of thing that I could write papers about. Women are not allowed the same emotional range as men, oh no! We must be pretty and happy and smile a lot and never burden others with our worries or problems, blah, blah, blah . . .

Katie said...

He probably is a horrible little man. If I were into this kind of thing, I would respond with a picture of someone who wasn't me, set up a date, and then show up and see how many different shades of red he could turn. However, he's totally not worth the effort that would take.

Oh, and if you thought this was crazy, you'll love my next post.

Lanafactrix said...

Definitely, SQ, he doesn't actually say his ideal woman has to be healthy--she just has to be skinny and petite. He's not looking for a workout partner or even an aesthetic ideal--he's looking for someone who makes him feel big and macho.

And can you say "narcissist"? "What is your favorite feature on me?" indeed. I'd have to say "your enormous ego."

Katie said...

I really don't want to defend this guy—he's clearly a jerk—but at least he didn't post this ad:

ONLY ANOREXIC CHICKS NEED APPLY - 27

Let's cut to the chase and keep this post simple.

Some posters have endless demands/lists about all the ideals, expectations, wonderful qualities, etc., that they have and/or are seeking in another person. As utopian as all of that hogwash sounds, that isn't me. As far as I am concerned, none of that shit is realistic, let alone relevant. It's much easier to just accept someone for who they are, don't ridicule them for who they are not. Unfairly appropriating expectations onto others just creates unwanted stress and tension.

Some posts have these sob stories about a love gone bad or how love hurts, or some equally cliché and sob-like story of martyrdom. That is not me either. I don't care who you have been with, what has happened to you in your past or what others think of you. This isn't because I am not sympathetic to your life story or your feelings thereof, but those circumstances won't change my impression of you; especially whether or not you're a cool person to hang out with NOW that inspires me to want to appreciate who you are, not who you once were or whether you're worth consideration. That kind of ethnocentric elitism is so 1990.

And many more posts give the indication that the person is really sweet, wonderful, misunderstood and/or just wants a chance at finding their soul mate, or some other similar illusion of grandeur. Let's be real, that also isn't me or anyone else I know. I don't care if I land up marrying you and having 5 kids from you or if you're just keeping the bed warm a few nights a week. Should something long term develop, great. Should we just live in the here and the now, no worries by me either. This isn't apathy or a lack of vision on my part, but merely taking life one moment at a time. Speculating and virtually demanding a lifetime commitment from someone isn't healthy and chances are, you're really just a lonely and depressed person if you feel the need to infringe commitments onto others who don't want or feel the same things you do.

This is what I do want: an anorexic chick. Hell, I won't discriminate, bulimic chicks are pretty hot too. If you want to split hairs, sure, chicks on diets or just with creative eating habits, you're cool people to me too. If you have an A cup, legs almost as thin as your arms and wear a size 0, you're my kind of girl. If Lindsay Lohan is fat compared to you, that's a plus. If you wear kids clothes because adult clothes don't fit you, even better. As far as I'm concerned, the skinnier, the better. And this isn't a snub against meatier girls either. I just don't find you attractive. Please don't take it personal and/or send me hate emails about how my request is inherently sexist or perpetuating some sort of hegemonic power structure against women. Seriously, I don't care. I like what I like. Simple as that.

And even if you're "healthy" and just naturally uber skinny, I won't discriminate either. I understand how difficult it is for many people to appreciate such a thin person. I realize people equally discriminate against the thin, almost as much as people do against the obese. Maybe the discrimination is because of jealousy, blatant prejudice or some other intimately profound explanation the result of our semi-obese population. Whatever the case may be, that kind of mistreatment can be difficult to deal with and I'm here for you. It sounds crazy, but there really are those of us out there that appreciate your masochistic and self-loathing ways. What can I say, I think its really hot. You kind of ladies make emo chicks look like attention whores and I love it. In any event, if you're out there anorexic girls, kindly hit me up. I'd love to hear from you.

Superquail said...

Oh hell no! That guy with the anorexic chicks spends a whole lot of time describing who he isn't, but very quickly makes it clear who he is.

There is this thing I've heard of among men where they actively seek out women who have low self esteem because they find that sexy. It seems this guy is one of those. What does that say about you, I wonder, if you aren't interested in a woman with confidence? I think confidence is sexy, myself, but I like healthy people.

Katie said...

What scares me most about the guy looking for anorexics is that he fails to realize that anorexics bulimics (and anyone else with an eating disorder) are incredibly unhealthy. I fail to see the interest in dating someone who is actively ruining her body.

Superquail said...

I can't tell if this guy is serious or not. I'm guessing he's "kidding on the square" wherein he really does find skinny women with a deep sense of self-loathing because it allows him to feel good about himself in comparison, but he is saying it in such an extreme way that he can always pretend that he was "just kidding".

There is a lot of misinformation about there about anorexics. I've heard some people say they "wish they could be anorexic" so they could get that skinny. They don't realize that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental health disorder and that only about 20% of anorexics ever make a full recovery. Most of them relapse back and forth for their whole lives and struggle with eating and weight issues until they die.

Katie said...

I second your statement about the gross amount of misinformation about anorexics out there. Having gone to an all-girls middle school and been obsessed with Joan Ryan's Little Girls In Pretty Boxes during that time, I'm all too conscious of the effects of eating disorders on a body.

Superquail said...

Little Girls in Pretty Boxes was rather revolutionary in that it talked about female athletes being at risk for eating disorders when most people assume that it's only the hyper-fashion-conscious types who read Vogue and come from excessively wealthy families.

Lanafactrix said...

I would say, "at least he's honest," but he's quite self-evidently not . . . So fuck him. (Erm . . . this isn't a family blog, right?)

Katie said...

Nope. Definitely not a family blog.