Saturday, January 17, 2009

So many false hopes

I didn't set out to do this, but since Wednesday I've messaged a new person every day on the dating site. I'm really trying to make something work, to find someone, to put myself out there, but I'm really not having any luck. It's disheartening to say the least.

On Wednesday, it was a guy who said he likes to travel and he listed hummus as one of the six things he can't do without. Of all the things people list in the "six things" section, hummus is not at all common. Food sure, but such a particular thing as hummus struck me as interesting. Plus, I really like travel and hummus. No response though.

Later that night I messaged the Katie/Jennifer guy. I haven't heard from him.

On Thursday, I read a profile that specified wanting a "partner in crime" among other things. I sent him a note that simply said, "If I were your partner in crime, what crimes would we commit?" Sadly, I never found out.

I opened my inbox on Friday to find that a new user (of the dating site) and looked at my profile and rated me favorably. I'd looked at his profile a few days before, but he'd only written a little bit in his self summary; I didn't really feel I knew enough about him to warrant a message. However, I decided to write him after his rating of me. I kept it short, responding to a comment in his profile about liking to find new music. Again, no response.

Then, right as I was about to log off and go to bed, an IM came through. I politely told him as much, but said I'd be happy to get a message from him.

Tonight, I think I'll message this guy who posted his ad on Craigslist this afternoon.


My ideal Saturday night does not involve crowded clubs or loud dance floors. I would like to find a good cuddler to relax and watch a movie by the fireplace on this warm evening. There may be cupcakes involved if the timing is right, or really good dark chocolate as a fallback.

Do you have the cuddling skills to win a gold medal at the cuddle olympics? Do you offset all of China's human rights violations with your ability to relax and show affection?

You might be an olympic cuddler if:

  1. You evaluate a lululemon wardrobe based on its cuddle versatility.
  2. Your 27th pose involves melting into someone else and relaxing for the evening.
  3. You understand human anatomy well enough to know my arms appreciate blood flow.
  4. A cold day prompts images of a warm fire and a pile of blankets.
  5. When you see a cute kitten you want to hold it gently as it nuzzles against you.
  6. You enjoy relaxing to the sound of a heart beat.

Are you not quite at the olympic level of cuddling greatness? You will also improve your movie knowledge with such hilarious one-liners as:

  • "Orange mocha frappuccinos!"
  • "You need to be kissed. And often. And by someone who knows how!"
  • "It's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men."
  • "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"

Cuddling training sessions include chocolate. Worldly, dark, complex chocolates (I just got some good stuff from Madagascar). Act now and you may also enjoy some nice wine!

So why are you home alone on a Saturday night? What would you ideally like to be doing with your night instead? What is your olympic cuddling training regimen?

I am 29, single, and live in the SoMa district of San Francisco. I rented Hot Fuzz and I would like to see Revolutionary Road in the theater. I have many other movies and am not averse to on-demand rentals. I work hard, have a creative side, and appreciate the cool variety San Francisco has to offer.

What do you have planned for your long weekend? Any resolutions you would like to cross off early? Qualification rounds begin shortly.

Who doesn't like cuddling and cupcakes? I know I do.

1 comment:

Superquail said...

The cupcakes and cuddling guy sounds really cool.

Try not to get disheartened by the lack of responses! I remember how many times I have sent emails to friends and not heard back for weeks. I love corresponding with people, whether via letters or email or whatever, but to my sadness I have found that this is a quite rare and that most people find replying to other people's messages to be tedious or unnecessary.